


Choosing Jack

by Tarlan



Category: Eureka
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Community: smallfandomfest, Community: trope_bingo, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-31
Updated: 2013-01-31
Packaged: 2017-11-27 17:49:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/664732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Desperate to save Jack's life, Nathan does something Jack may never forgive him for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Choosing Jack

**Author's Note:**

> Written for:  
>  **SmallFandomFest FEST12** \- sliding under the wire!  
>  **Trope_Bingo** Prompt: Amnesia

The explosion rocking the building almost took Nathan off his feet and he pulled open his office door.

"Fargo!"

"Section 4. Sector 2. Doctor Lumits' laboratory."

Fear raced through him. He had given Lumits two weeks to come up with a reason why he should be kept on at G.D., and when Lumits had produced nothing of any consequence in the way of technology or even ideas, Nathan had signed the redaction order that very morning. His thoughts went immediately to Allison, who had agreed to handle the redaction on his behalf, and he rushed out of his office, barely acknowledging Fargo. His longer legs ate up the distance to the elevator, his I.D. card overriding all other commands to bring the elevator straight up to him, and the doors slid shut while Fargo was still ten feet away.

Stepping out into the smoke-filled corridor, Nathan headed straight for the Weapons' propulsion laboratory, sighing in relief when he saw Allison outside looking a little disheveled but otherwise unharmed. She was shaken, and she pointed towards the laboratory.

"Carter's still in there!"

"What?"

A second shockwave of fear passed through him, almost stunning him with its intensity because he was not supposed to feel this for Jack Carter. Moreover, Carter should not have been within a mile of this place. Despite having the job foisted upon him when Nathan redacted Carl Carlson several years back, it wasn't Carter's job to handle redactions within the walls of G.D. That task belonged to G.D. security, with the Sheriff's Office taking over the moment the person being redacted was escorted off G.D. premises. But when had Jack ever done what he was supposed to do? The man was a simpleton and an ass, always poking his nose into business where he didn't belong.

And now he could be.... Nathan refused to voice the rest of those thoughts even inside his own head.

He turned to the laboratory, pressing close to the observation window to try to see through the smoke, seeing occasional sparks from damaged electrical cables and machinery. As the smoke curled around, he caught sight of a man's body but it was clad in the darker uniform of G.D. security. Nathan did not need a medical doctorate to know the man was dead. Of Carter he could see no sign, but his heart stuttered in renewed fear as he imagined Carter caught in the same blast that had ripped the security guard to shreds.

A shaking technician called to him. "Doctor Stark, the lab sealed to contain the explosion, and it's no longer responding to allow us access."

Nathan pushed aside the technician, fingers dancing over the keyboard as he went deeper into the subroutines that were locking down the laboratory, using his override codes. As the final lock was released, he grabbed a breathing mask and a crowbar from the emergency kit held outside every lab, pulling on the mask quickly and jamming the crowbar into the slightly opened gap between the door and frame. Nathan used his strength and the leverage to pull the door open a fraction more. Another pair of hands shoved into the gap - Fargo - and the two men worked in unison until the door was wide enough for Nathan to slip through.

"Stay there!" he ordered Fargo, aware that there was only one mask. "Carter!"

His voice was muffled by the mask and in truth, he didn't expect Carter to answer. It took thirty precious seconds to locate Carter behind a console with Lumits. Both men were alive - barely - but the air was thick with acrid smoke. Another spark close by made Nathan realize how dangerous the situation was becoming, and as he looked down at the two men, he made the only decision that mattered to him and hoisted Carter up over his shoulder in a fireman's carry.

The smoke had thickened by now, making it even harder to see but somehow he made it to the door and passed Carter through the narrow gap into Fargo's waiting hands. As he turned to go back for Lumits, he heard the sudden release of gas under extreme pressure, shrill and intense, and Nathan knew he had run out of time. He pushed through the gap and slammed into the others, taking them all down and covering Jack and Allison with his own body just as another explosion sent a wall of fire across the laboratory. Fortunately, the majority of it was contained inside the laboratory with a flash of heat searing the air over his head.

Three minutes and forty seconds after the first explosion, the rescue and response teams arrived, immediately setting to work to contain the fire from the second explosion but Nathan only had eyes for Carter. He reached out again to check for a pulse and found it far too weak and thready for his liking. Blood was pooling from a gash in the man's temple, leaving his hair sticky and dark. Numerous other gashes and cuts covered his body but Nathan could tell at a glance that they were minor in comparison to the head wound.

Resisting the temptation to roll Jack over onto his back, Nathan ripped off his oxygen mask and placed it over Jack's mouth and nose just as Allison climbed to her knees on the other side of Carter. This was her friend, someone he knew she cared for deeply, but she was all efficiency and professional as she barked out orders to the medical staff who had swarmed into the area; Nathan could only scrabble back as they pushed him aside to get to Jack. With his back pressed against the corridor wall, he watched as they stabilized Jack before loading him up on a gurney and taking him away.

Nathan looked up as a hand reached down towards him, tempted at first to slap it away but he could see the shock in Fargo's eyes and accepted the assistance back up onto his feet. With a slight nod of thanks, he stopped by the observation window to survey the damage, watching as the response team zipped up the charred remains of two bodies.

"I'm heading to the infirmary," he stated softly. "I want a preliminary incident report on my desk within the hour."

"Yes, Doctor Stark,"

Nathan sank down onto a padded bench seat, head bowed, forearms resting on his thighs and hands dangling as he waited outside the trauma room; he looked up when Allison stepped out to join him.

"He's stable. Mostly cuts and bruising. My only concern is the head trauma, especially as it's not his first concussion and he's yet to gain consciousness."

Nathan grimaced, recalling Barlow's Virtual Reality device and the problems it had caused when Jack had tried it on while suffering from a mild concussion sustained a few hours earlier. Even that was not Jack's first concussion, and Nathan had joked about it explaining Jack's lower I.Q. Brain damage. It didn't seem such a great joke now even though Nathan knew it was almost expected of him to make fun of Jack at every turn. Instead, the sarcastic words stuck in his throat.

Allison frowned and took a seat beside him, sensing something was amiss.

"What happened in there, Nathan? Did you see Doctor Lumits?" Nathan turned away but she reached up and forced him to look at her, and he hoped his distress wasn't too plain to see. "Nathan?"

"I had to choose.... and I chose Jack."

Her eyes widened with equal understanding and horror. "Oh, Nathan," she whispered, and he read the guilt that crossed her face that had to mirror his own; guilt that she was just as grateful that he had put Jack first instead of Lumits. The problem was whether Jack would understand, and if he could ever forgive Nathan for choosing him over a civilian.

"I have no regrets," he stated harshly through clenched teeth, even though he knew it revealed far more about his feelings for Jack than he was willing to admit to under normal circumstances.

Unable to stay any longer, Nathan pushed up to his feet. He ignored Allison when she called his name and made his way back to his office, and to the executive washroom that housed a decent shower and a change of clothing. His own were rank with the smell of sweat, smoke and pungent chemicals, and when he realized his expensive suit pants were covered in Jack's blood, he balled the whole lot up and shoved it all into the incinerator. 

"Wasn't my best or favorite suit anyway," he murmured, trying to convince himself that it wasn't the sight of Jack's blood that had affected him.

Hours later, he gave up pretending that this was an ordinary day after reading the same report twice without taking in a single word; he let his thoughts dwell on Jack. Images rushed through his mind, of Jack grinning like an idiot, hands waving, always in motion, overlaid with the memory of Jack pale and bloodied, and so still. Too still.

He sighed heavily when his intercom sounded.

"Fargo, this had better be good."

"Um... Sheriff Carter's awake."

Nathan drummed his fingers on his desk, wasting another fifteen minutes on thoughts of Jack before he finally gave in to a deep-seated need to check on Jack for himself. He headed back down to the infirmary, entering silently, and Allison jerked back in surprise when she turned to find Nathan standing right behind her.

"How is he? Any more brain damaged than usual?" he quipped even though the worry had eaten at him until he had heard from Fargo that Jack was finally awake. He'd been afraid that the head wound was too severe, or that Jack had inhaled too much smoke or had been deprived of oxygen for too long.

At first, she bristled at his words but then her eyes narrowed in confusion before filling with compassion. She had always been able to read him a little too well.

"There is a... minor problem."

Nathan raised his eyebrows questioningly, but otherwise schooled his features into bland interest as he waited for her to continue, hoping she wouldn't see through the mask.

"Does he know about Lumits?" 

"No. That's the problem, Nathan. He can't recall anything from just after the lava incident last year. It may only be temporary, and the memories may start to filter back as the swelling on his brain decreases."

Nathan tried not to look too relieved at the temporary reprieve. He still had so many confusing and conflicting emotions concerning Jack Carter, and knowing he had time to assimilate it all before he had to face those piercing and damning blue eyes was a relief. For a moment, he even considered not writing a full account of what had happened when he entered the laboratory. He could say Lumits was as dead as the security guard when he reached him, and no one other than he and Allison would be any the wiser. Especially not Jack, who had been unconscious so totally unaware of Lumits' fate, but Nathan couldn't bring himself to lie.

Bending the truth or lying by omission was something he had done many times as a necessary part of his job while dealing with the politics of G.D., and he was good at it. It was almost expected of him. Whereas lying outright to Jack was on par with fabricating his research; a mistake that could have serious repercussions, though of a personal rather than a professional nature.

When he entered the infirmary, he smiled when he saw Jack propped up against the pillows in one of the beds, looking pale but alert with a pristine white bandage wrapped around the head wound. Cleaned up, the other cuts, grazes and bruises from the explosion were livid marks on his pale skin but Nathan knew none of them would scar.

"Carter."

"Stark."

Nathan took a seat even though Jack hadn't made an invitation, gaining a small frown of confusion before the lines on Carter's face smoothed out.

"I hear you're to thank for pulling me out of there before the whole lab went up in flames."

Nathan thought of a few snappy comebacks - that Carter was closest to the door, or that he couldn't tell it was Carter until after they had cleared the smoke - but two people had died in that laboratory today, and one of those certainly hadn't deserved that fate. Right after the incident he had Jo lead a team to go over all the security footage to determine a cause of the explosion. The preliminary report was on his desk within the hour as ordered, and all the initial data pointed to a deliberate act of sabotage by Lumits. The man had decided that if he couldn't continue with his research at G.D., then no one else should benefit from it.

Why Lumits had decided to wait until Jack and the security guard were in the laboratory with him would likely remain a mystery, though it was only a matter of luck that Allison had been delayed outside to take a call. Otherwise she would have been in that lab too. Nathan frowned. Except maybe that was why Lumits had timed the explosion for a few minutes past the hour of his redaction: 10:35 a.m. Perhaps he had simply wanted to lash out at the person who had signed the redaction order, and what better way to hurt Nathan than to destroy all that valuable research and hurt the people he loved at the same time.

Nathan suspected that Allison had likely been the target, and Jack was simply caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Stark?"

Yet, what if she had been in that laboratory?

That thought now preyed on his mind. If he'd been forced to choose between Allie and Jack, it would have driven him insane. Yet it should have been as easy to choose Allison over Jack as it had been to choose Jack over Lumits. The fact that it wasn't easy had opened his eyes to a truth long denied.

He didn't hate Jack. He didn't resent him or even dislike him. What he felt when he realized Jack was in that laboratory, possibly already dead, was a heart and gut-clenching fear that should have been reserved only for someone he loved - like Allison. That could mean only one thing, and that knowledge stripped away the last of his denial.

Somehow over the past few years, as they bickered and taunted each other over Allison and everything else associated with this town and G.D., he had fallen in love with Jack. Fallen deeper and harder than for anyone else in his life, including Allie.

"Earth to Stark."

With sudden clarity, he knew what choice he would have made. He would have gone for Allie first - his ex-wife and the mother of Kevin and his baby daughter - and then he would not have hesitated even as the alarms shrilled around him. He would have gone back in for Jack, and if necessary, he would have died trying to save him. It was a sobering thought, and he decided that if he was willing to risk his life for Jack, then why not his heart too? 

"Nathan?"

He had a moment to see Jack's blue eyes widen and lips part in shock before he was kissing Jack, pouring everything he had into that first, and possibly last kiss. He didn't expect Jack to react, beyond perhaps punching him in the face but instead, Jack looked just as stunned when Nathan pulled back. Like any good scientist, Nathan waited for a reaction, seeing pale lashes blink slowly while Jack tasted the kiss on his lips with the tip of his tongue. All the while, staring up at Nathan in confusion.

"That wasn't the comeback I was expecting," Jack stated softly. "Are we...?" he waved between them, obviously wanting to know if they had somehow formed more than a working relationship since the lava incident. The fact that he didn't seem too aghast at the idea gave Nathan a surge of hope that Jack might actually have feelings for him in return, but he knew he would be dashing any hope with his next words.

"I chose you, Jack."

"I... What?"

"You or Lumits... and I chose you."

It took a moment longer for Jack to understand, and Nathan saw his already pale complexion whiten further as the confusion lifted. Shock and fury filled the blue eyes, just as Nathan expected, and Nathan couldn't even use the knowledge that Lumits had deliberately set the explosion to defend the choice he had made. At the time, he hadn't known Lumits was a killer.

"Get out," Jack ordered through clenched teeth, and Nathan backed away, knowing the best thing he could do now was let Jack work through everything that had happened alone.

****

Allison kept Jack in for observation for the next two days and nights, releasing him into the care of SARAH on the third day, on condition that he stayed in the bunker and rested for another three days.

"Oh, come on, Allison!" Jack wheedled, because as much as he had once enjoyed the occasional sick day - before SARAH went homicidal-BRAD on him - he didn't want to sit around with nothing to do but think about what he had missed over the past year. He was already feeling depressed knowing Zoe would not be waiting at home for him. Apparently, she had left for Stanford a few months back and as much as he would have liked to have her with him, Jack had convinced her not to come back after she learned of the explosion. She was due home at the end of the semester, just a few weeks away.

"Three days bed rest at the bunker, or here in the infirmary. Your choice."

The lesser of two evils was going home where, maybe, he could keep his mind occupied with baseball or movies. He might even be able to convince SARAH to let him have all his favorite non-healthy treats, like pizza, pork rinds and cheeseburgers, by playing the ' _I lost my memory and almost died_ ' card. It had to be better than facing another three days of _death by dull_ in G.D.'s infirmary, knowing the source of his confusion, frustration and anger was only a few floors away.

Jack threw up his arms in surrender. "Fine! Home."

Allison gave him a smug look and patted him on the arm. "Good. I'll be waiting outside, ready to drive you home."

By the time he had settled in on the couch in the bunker, he felt exhausted. Allison was pulling a blanket and pillow out of a nicely concealed cupboard, which she brought back to help make him more comfortable.

"So. You and Nathan?"

The last thing he recalled was standing in Café Diem just after he and Nathan had saved the town. He had been sweating in the heat from the lava pumping into the lake, but Allison's words had hit him like a cold shower when she took him aside to ask if he would give her away when she renewed her vows to Nathan. Zoe had thought it was the height of cruelty for Allison to even ask but all he had felt for Allison was happiness. The cold shower moment had come from a completely unexpected source, for that evening had been his own private eureka moment, when he realized that it was losing his chance with Nathan that hurt the most.

Jack had checked on the drive home from G.D., but could see no ring on her finger.

"There was a time related incident at G.D. on the day of the wedding. Nathan almost died when he had to manually correct..." She noticed his blank look and sighed. "Let's just say that by the time he got to the wedding venue, fashionably late, we'd both reconsidered."

"So... You and I?"

"Are good friends... and I'll always be here for you, Jack."

She leaned in and pressed a kiss against his cheek.

He couldn't bring himself to ask one last question and she left soon after, so as he lay stretched out on his couch, propped up against the pillow with a warm blanket covering him, he still didn't know if he and Stark were an item. Certainly he had entertained thoughts along those lines over the years because Stark... Nathan... was definitely his type; tall, dark, handsome and smart. Thinking back to the day they met, perhaps if he and Nathan hadn't started up that stupid macho-posturing over Allison then he might even have gone for Nathan instead of Allison. The fact that neither of them was with Allison made him wonder if he had made a play for Nathan instead. Certainly that kiss had been... Damn! It had been hot, and he really shouldn't have thought about that kiss, especially as his head wasn't up to dealing with all his blood dropping due South to his groin.

Also, lustful thoughts of Nathan Stark were something he really didn't want to think about while he was still working through some righteous anger at Nathan for sacrificing a civilian instead of him. He was the police officer charged with protecting the whole damn town. He knew the risks when he took the badge. He winced. Okay, maybe he hadn't fully understood all the risks, because being Sheriff of this town of crazy scientists had proved one hell of a lot more dangerous than hunting down murderers and protecting judges and federal witnesses from assassination attempts. As a US Marshall he'd only had to worry about being shot at, but the people of this town seemed to find new and inventive ways to attempt to kill him every week. 

I'm only surprised I've made it this far without dying, he thought, until he remembered that he had died not long after taking on the job.

Carl Carlson had used the power of his brain and the artifact to heal Jack's wounds, and Jack often wondered whatever had become of the strange scientist. No one had heard from him since then.

Jack realized he needed a distraction from this train of thoughts, and it occurred to him that he could use the temporary amnesia to his advantage.

"SARAH? Were there any really awesome games over the past year?"

"You were very enthusiastic when the Angels played the St. Louis Cardinals in May last year."

"All right!" He rubbed his hands together as SARAH started the game but fell asleep within minutes, only waking when he heard the outer door chime.

"Sheriff Carter. Doctor Stark is at the door. Shall I let him in?"

"Uh..." Jack cleared his throat as he rubbed his tired eyes. "Yeah. Sure. Let him in."

The moment the words left his mouth he regretted them because he still hadn't resolved the issue of Stark sacrificing Lumits for him, or figured out if he and Nathan were more than rivals butting heads over Allison. Of course, he couldn't help that a small part of him burned with hope that they had discovered something better to do with each other than sniping and fighting.

By now the door had swung open with a pneumatic hiss and Stark had stepped inside, one eyebrow rising as he watched Jack struggling to get up.

"No. Don't get up," Stark said, holding out one hand, palm outwards. "Allison asked me to drop by and check-"

"No she didn't."

For one moment, Stark took on that deer-in-the headlights stare that Jack thought only Zoe could produce after being caught in a lie. It was only a split second, and if Jack hadn't been watching him so intently, he would have missed it completely. It had been replaced immediately with that familiar condescending smirk and as Stark opened his mouth to utter what would no doubt be an exceptionally acidic retort, Jack jumped in.

"Beer?"

Stark frowned, eyes going to the drink on the coffee table in front of Jack but his tense shoulders relaxed when he realized it was non-alcoholic, much to Jack's annoyance. Allison had vetoed all alcohol and made sure SARAH was fully aware of the medical consequences so she couldn't be bribed as soon as Allison walked out the door. Not that Jack had a great track record with bribing SARAH at the best of times.

Stark shrugged with one shoulder and walked into the kitchen area as SARAH poured out a cold beer for him.

"Please do not let Sheriff Carter have any of the beer, Doctor Stark."

"I'll make sure it stays out of his reach."

"Traitor," Jack mumbled. "So what brings you here... really?"

Jack tried not to hold his breath as he waited for an answer, and frowned when Stark sighed heavily and sank down onto the couch next to him.

"Jack." He paused, deep in thought before straightening his shoulders and looking straight at Jack. "I'm not going to ask for your forgiveness because I don't have any regrets for pulling you out first. And if it happened again tomorrow, I'd make the same choice."

Jack felt his jaw twitch in anger but also in confusion. Part of him wanted to order Stark out of the bunker, but another part of him needed to know why Stark considered him more important than one of his precious scientists. It wasn't as if Stark valued him as a sheriff - or even as a human being - except perhaps for entertainment as he mocked him mercilessly for his average I.Q. Except those were the memories of a year ago, and Jack had no idea what could have changed for them since then. 

"Why?"

"I could lie and tell you I already knew the results of the investigation. That Lumits had planned to destroy that laboratory, deliberately timing it so both you and Allison would be caught in the blast. That's he's responsible for the death of a security guard, and himself, but the fact of the matter is, I didn't know any of that at the time. I made a choice between Lumits... and someone I care about."

Jack blinked at the open admission.

"Are we...?" He waved a hand between them, wondering if Stark would answer this time. He saw bitter regret in Stark's eyes before they lowered to the beer held in his hands. Jack answered his own question. "No. We're not. But we'd like to be."

Stark seemed to freeze for a moment before looking back up at Jack, and Jack could see hope replacing the regret. It twisted something inside of Jack.

"We?" Stark asked.

Jack winced. He had meant to say ' _you_ ' rather than ' _we_ ', not wanting to commit himself to anything while his memories of the past year were missing. For all he knew, Stark might have monumentally screwed up over the past year and said or done something even more heinous than letting Lumits die.

"Jack?"

Feeling scared, like a cornered animal, Jack bristled. "You need to leave now." He tensed, expecting an argument but Stark simply nodded and stood up, leaving Jack feeling bewildered because the hope hadn't died in Stark's eyes. If anything, he seemed even more hopeful.

"See you around, Jack," he breathed softly before leaving.

****

Over the next three days, the memories of that lost year slowly came back to him, triggered by images, sounds and video carefully selected by SARAH. He had seen how his relationship with Stark - Nathan - had gone from begrudging acceptance of each other to mutual respect. It had started with Fargo in the force field bubble, and then working together to save the town during the lava incident.

Jack was never one for self-analysis but then came the realization that he had come to like Nathan enough not to begrudge him winning Allison's hand in marriage. He thought he should have felt more upset but he could see now that his love for Allison had been all about Nathan. Perhaps he and Allison could have sparked if Nathan had never come back to Eureka, or if Nathan had not decided to stay after the Fargo incident. Perhaps in some alternate reality they might have married and started a family together, but here in this reality they were good friends and nothing more.

Jack recalled the moment when everything had changed on the day of the wedding. Allison had mentioned the time incident but now Jack recalled the way Nathan had shook afterwards, having been convinced he was going to be deleted from the time stream - or something. Of course, Nathan hadn't mentioned the danger when he stepped into that damn chamber to manually sync time, and maybe Jack would have seen through the false bravado if he hadn't been trying to hold all his internal injuries and cracked ribs in place at the time.

"See you around, Jack," he had said then too. 

Facing imminent death had changed Stark's priorities. He and Allison canceled the wedding by mutual agreement, not even broaching the subject when Allison learned she was pregnant with Nathan's child. They had both moved on, deciding that they couldn't be the most important person in the other's life.

Jack had half-expected Nathan to leave Eureka this time, and was surprised to realize he would actually miss him. Without the rivalry over Allison, they had formed a tentative but growing friendship, even going so far as to share a table at Café Diem for a meal or drink several times a week. Yet it had all happened so slowly over the course of a year that it was only now, with his recent memory loss, that he saw the full extent of the changes between them.

They were friends, and whether Jack wanted to admit it out loud or not, he had occasionally toyed with the idea of them becoming more than friends. It was just that he had never expected Nathan to feel the same way in return, and now that knowledge was out there, Jack couldn't shove all those messy emotions back into the box.

And they were messy, with the death of Lumits and Nathan's confession hanging heavy between them.

"Sheriff Carter, Doctor Blake is at the door. Shall I let her in?"

"Uh, yes, SARAH." He waited as the door swung open and smiled in greeting. "Hey Allison."

"Jack," she smiled back. "I just came by to drop off a copy of the Lumits report."

His smile faded as Allison set it down on the coffee table close to where Jack was sitting.

"I'll take a look at it later. See if it stirs up any more memories."

Although he had regained most of his memories of the last year, the final moments in that laboratory were still either missing or fuzzy, and he had a feeling he might never get those minutes back.

Allison stayed for a while, and even with a head injury, Jack was astute enough to recognize her attempts to soften his feelings towards Nathan.

"Jack, Nathan had to make a quick decision."

"Nathan should have-."

"Jack, please. Hear me out first and then we can discuss this."

He sighed because she still had a way of wrapping him around her finger. "Fine. Go ahead. Talk."

She reached forward and held his hand, offering a grateful smile and sighing as he looked away.

"Jack, it wasn't an accident. Both explosions were on a timer. The first was meant to hurt you and me, and the second was timed just three minutes later, to catch any would-be rescuers... and Nathan."

"What?" He lifted his head in shock.

"Lumits had contacted Fargo only minutes before the first explosion to verify that Nathan was in his office. He knew it would take Nathan less than three minutes to reach the laboratory even if he didn't use his I.D. card to override the elevator. There was only one oxygen mask so Nathan was on his own, Jack. The response team had been delayed rescuing four scientists from a fire in the laboratory directory above Lumits. The explosion had sent vials of highly flammable liquids and a heat source smashing to the floor and igniting. By the time they reached Lumits' laboratory, it was too late for Lumits, but that delay probably saved all their lives."

"Fine. So Lumits was a bad guy... but Nathan didn't know that at the time."

"No, he didn't. He _had_ to decide who to carry to safety first, and he chose you. He shoved you into our hands and turned to go back for Lumits, and that's when the second explosion happened with only a few seconds warning. Just enough time for him to throw himself over you, me and Fargo... to protect us."

"Why did he choose me?"

Allison smiled. "You already know the answer, Jack, and if the roles had been reversed and _you_ had to choose between Nathan and Lumits, you know who you would have picked... and that's why you feel so angry with him."

She patted his knee and left without another word, leaving Jack to his thoughts. It was true though. He was angry because he was only human too, and he would have chosen Nathan over Lumits. He would have chosen the life of someone he cared about over that of a near-stranger, and like Nathan, he would have tried to go back for the other person afterwards, if there had been time.

Jack spent another hour going over the report and Allison's account of the incident. He sighed heavily and reached for his cell phone, speed-dialing Nathan's number.

"Stark."

"Hey. It's Jack."

"Jack. How are you?"

"I'm... fine. Look, I was wondering if you wanted to drop by later-"

"I can be there in fifteen minutes."

"It's nothing-"

"I'll see you in fifteen minutes."

"Yeah. Okay."

Jack placed the cell phone back on the coffee table and blew out a breath. He had fifteen minutes to order his thoughts before Nathan arrived.

****

Nathan ended the call and glanced at the cell phone thoughtfully before placing it back in his pocket. He hadn't seen Jack since the day at the bunker, wanting to give Jack time to heal and regain some of his memories before they talked again. He knew Allison had dropped off a copy of the report, and she had given him a reassuring smile when she got back to G.D.

He shut down his laptop and closed down the experiment that he had planned to start later, locking his lab behind him as he headed out of G.D. towards his car. One of the best parts of being joint head of G.D. with Allison was having more time to pursue science instead of politics. He hadn't realized how much he had missed the simple pleasure of discovery until he lost his prestigious position as sole head of G.D., finally understanding why Henry had become so frustrated with him.

All the reasons he had given about oiling the wheels so scientists like Henry could work on world-changing problems had been valid, but it felt good to be one of those scientists again rather than just a politician with a big I.Q. and an even bigger ego. It had given him the time and opportunity to get to know Jack Carter and see him as something other than a huge pain in his ass. Yet none of that had prepared him for the realization that Jack had come to mean far more to him than just a friend.

He parked outside the bunker, then waited for SARAH to announce his presence and open the door to let him in.

Jack was seated on the couch but he stood up, one hand nervously rubbing the back of his head in a gesture that had become so familiar to Nathan over the years.

"Jack."

He watched as Jack approached, tensing in concern when Jack stopped only inches away. He looked down slightly into the upturned face and was momentarily caught by the soft blue eyes that captured his own.

"Jack?" Curious and concerned, he waited to see what Jack planned to say or do, lips parting in shock when Jack reached up with both hands, fingers slipping through Nathan's hair as Jack pulled them into a tentative kiss.

Jack looked a little flushed when he drew back, and Nathan grabbed at him to stop him from stepping away. This time Nathan was the one to reach out to gently cup the back of Jack's head and draw them into a kiss. He fought the urge to deepen the kiss, desperate to taste more of this man, too aware of the still healing injuries. This time when they drew back, Jack's eyes were no longer clouded with uncertainty and his face was flushed with desire rather than embarrassment.

"Jack," Nathan murmured once more as he pulled Jack against him, wrapping his arms around the strong body and feeling Jack's arms around his waist in return, and for the first time since the incident, Nathan truly felt no regrets for choosing Jack.

END

**Author's Note:**

> My apologies for any grammar/spelling errors. I'm literally sliding under the wire to post this before the midnight deadline for SmallFandomFest FEST12! I plan to come back and correct any mistake over the next few days!


End file.
